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Having just seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall (excellent, by the way) it occurred to me that That ’70s Show somehow became the Kevin Bacon of modern Hollywood. Its cast is basically connected to anyone of any importance in film-making, and I never would have guessed such a thing would happen. Because while ’70s Show is generally unoffensive and occasionally clever, I’ve never been able to watch it for one reason: that heinous laugh track. Some people have tried to argue that the laugh track is some sort of commentary on sitcoms of the ’70s, but I’m not buying it. They seriously average one horrible canned laugh for every 1.3 lines of dialogue. Even if it were supposed to be ironic or something, it’s not effective simply because it’s so bloody annoying. Once you’ve heard it, you can’t escape it.

And really, you don’t think of any of the series’ stars as major players, but between them they wield a lot of influence. Makes you wonder if they’re all still tight; I mean, sure, they’ll all do Seth Green’s Robot Chicken every episode, but Kutcher and Topher jumped ship early so who knows? Aside: How does Seth Green get so many random people to do voices for Chicken? Wikipedia has a list. From Hulk Hogan and Stan Lee to Cee-Lo and Scarlett Johansson.

But anyway, with the outrageously cute performance Mila Kunis turned in for Sarah Marshall (the only thing stopping me from developing a huge crush is her and boyfriend Macaulay Culkin’s World of Warcraft habit), she’s just a cameo away from being a regular part of Judd Apatow’s stable of comedy brilliance. By appearing alongside Jonah Hill and Paul Rudd and the gang, she’s only a step removed from Seth Rogen, Steve Carell, Will Ferrell and therefore the rest of the Brat Pack. In my opinion, once you’re in good with Jack Black and Vince Vaughn, you’re in good with the only people that matter. Hell, Ben Stiller was in Anchorman, and he’s done films with everybody. DeNiro, even.

Plus, Ashton Kutcher not only married into the Demi Moore/Bruce Willis power family, he’s also like a big-shot producer. Sure, What Happens in Vegas looks like trash (as does Cameron Diaz most of the time. I said it.) but he’s got Punk’d and Beauty and the Geek under his belt. A bit part in Reindeer Games links him to Ben Affleck and Gary Sinise, too.

Meanwhile, Topher Grace (the highlight of the series, not coincidentally) pulls in the big names. For chrissakes, he was in Ocean’s 11 and 12, so there’s Pitt, Clooney, Damon, Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones. He also gets Dennis Quaid from In Good Company, a big coup, and Michael Douglas from Traffic. Not a bad showing.

Danny Masterson does respectably, thanks to appearances in Face/Off (netting Cage and Travolta) and The Faculty (which had a ton of notable youngsters - Jon Stewart, Elijah Wood, Josh Hartnett, Salma Hayek, even Usher).

And for the heritage acts, Debra Jo Rupp (the mom) not only did Friends and Seinfeld, she did Big with Tom Hanks. Kurtwood Smith (Red) was in A Time to Kill with McConaughey, Sandra Bullock, L. Jack and Kevin Spacey; Dead Poets Society with Robin Williams, Ethan Hawke and that guy from Sports Night; Star Trek VI with Shatner, Nimoy, etc.; and Girl, Interrupted with Jolie, Winona Ryder and Jared Leto. And Rambo III. And Robocop. Not bad.

Not pulling their weight: Laura Prepon. I guess being a Scientologist would logically link her to Tom Cruise, though, right?

Not to mention Wilmer Valderrama was in Beauty Shop with Mr. Bacon, so he’s only a degree from the man himself. And he dated Lindsay Lohan for a while. What was that about?

Anybody huge they aren’t a step or two away from?
Acenate